We're halfway through the regular season (where does the time go?).
In a week so full of stats it could make a Stat Fag cry, one manager put up a score lower than Waxball had ever seen, one defending champion rose from the dead, and a commissioner tied the longest winning streak in league history by the gross hair on his chinny-chin-chin.
As always, I'm your numerically aroused, all about the numbers, it's never personal Stat Fag Nic Hamilton. Let's wrap up Week 7 of 2026.
DARRYLOWER3000 MAKES HISTORY
Not only did Trav (darryluvr3000) put up the lowest score in Waxball history, losing to Nic (Stat Fag) 112.56-50.90, he demolished the previous record of 61.12pts set by Will (poonmessiah) in Week 3 of 2024 by over 10pts.
Not one starter on Trav's team scored more than 11pts, with Carolina's defence taking away 4. Across Weeks 4-7, Trav finished weekly low, weekly high, weekly high, weekly low. Nobody else has ever occupied only highs and lows in all four games of a four-week run. The closest example came from 2025 Erik, who went high-high, missed an extreme for one week, then put up the weekly high again.
Nic benched Tony Pollard after he started the season with an 8pt per-game average. He of course then exploded for 36.5pts. This is the first and only time in league history that the week's highest scoring player was not on a manager's starting roster.
In Week 3 of 2025, Nic and Trav faced off in the closest matchup in Waxball history, a 0.02pt margin. The 61.66pt margin between them this week is the week's biggest blowout and the 14th-largest victory in Waxball history. Nic climbs to 4-3 despite only putting up the 8th-highest score of the week, while Trav falls to 3-4 with the league's lowest PF and worst point differential.
WEEK 7 A MAKE A ME WET 🤌
So many stats and records were broken/improved upon this week. Here's a full rundown:
WAXBALL'S THIRD-WIDEST RANGE
Blue topped Week 7 with 149.04pts while Trav bottomed it at 50.90pts, creating a 98.14pt gap from first to last. That is the third-widest weekly range in league history, trailing only Week 6 of 2025 (109.64pts) and Week 11 of 2024 (105.84pts).
TRAV'S COLLAPSE
The fall of 79.74pts from last week's 130.64 to this week's 50.9 is the third-largest one-week scoring collapse in Waxball history. Erik owns the top two drops of 86.1pts in 2024 and 86.08pts in 2025. Something to be proud of?
Trav has now faced the week's highest scorer six times, the most in Waxball history. Will is next with five. At the other extreme, Blue and Erik have each faced the week's lowest scorer five times, sharing the league record.
MILO'S BOUNCE BACK
One week after setting his career low at 75.38pts, defending champ Milo rebounded to 141.28pts, a difference of 65.90pts. That is the fourth-largest week-to-week increase in Waxball history, behind Mosko's 79.28pt and Paul's 76.34pt rebounds in 2025 and Sam's 73.68pt gap in 2024.
STREAKING COMMISH
Miles scraped by Mosko 113.22-109.82 in the week's closest matchup and extended his run to six wins. He is now tied with Erik's 2024 run for the longest regular-season winning streak in Waxball history.
Miles is 6-1 with a league-best 53-24 all-play record, only one win ahead of Blue at 52-25. He gets Sam in Week 8, the only manager he has never beaten as mistahbigdick leads their series 4-0. A seventh straight Miles win would break the streak record; a fifth Sam win would make this series the most one-sided matchup in the league, breaking a tie with Trav's 4-0 record against Will and Blue's 4-0 record against Mosko.
WILL BE LAST
Poon Messiah returns to the bottom of the table for the first time since 2024. He occupied last place for 13 straight weeks from Week 2 through Week 14 that season; Week 7 is his 14th week at the bottom overall, the most in Waxball history.
Christian, Milo, Nic and Sam are the only managers who have never ended a week at the bottom of the table.
WEEK 8
WEEK 8 PREVIEW
With big shoes to fill, the second half of the season kicks off with Miles putting both his six-game winning streak and his 0-4 record against Sam on the line.
In the week's Heated Rivalry, Nic and Havi meet with a 4-1 all-time series record to decide who goes 5-3 on the season. It's Havi's third time in four weeks playing in the Heated Rivalry.
WEEK 8 KICKS OFF WITH PANTHERS @ PACKERS ON THURSDAY NIGHT.
CHECK OUT YOUR MANAGER DATABASE AND RIVALRIES FOR THE LATEST WAX STATS.
UNTIL NEXT TIME, HERE'S ME SAYING GOODBYE. GOODBYE!